The Magnificent Golden Stag

No one knows exactly when the Magnificent Golden Stag first appeared in our kingdom, but everyone knows that he has always been a bright beacon to us, a bringer of hope, peace, and prosperity. When the people were parched and perishing from the Great Drought, the appearance of the Magnificent Golden Stag signaled the onset of rain. When the country was wracked by seemingly interminable war, a sighting of the Magnificent Golden Stag was followed by an armistice and a long period of peace. There is no need for me to detail all the wondrous and magical benefits this beloved beast has brought to us.

And so it was with shock and horror that we heard Lord Bilias declare his intention to kill the noble Stag. The Council of Nobles was in an uproar. What could he be thinking, we wondered?

"It's just a deer," he said.

"Just a deer?" we gasped. "How can you call the Magnificent Golden Stag 'just a deer?'"

Well, most of us gasped. We, the gaspers, were surprised to discover that Bilias had quite a lot of supporters in the Council. They didn't gasp. They wanted to join the hunt.

"It is just a deer," insisted Bilias. "A fancy deer, yes. A valuable deer, I grant you. A challenge to hunt, I bet. But still and all, just a deer. The gold alone will make me rich. And I'll sell the venison. I've always been more of a partridge and potatoes man, myself."

"You can't kill the Magnificent Golden Stag!" I remember objecting. "It's a national treasure!"

"Who says I can't?" replied Bilias. "There's no law against it. All we have to do is vote on it. And I'm pretty sure I have the votes. All in favor ..."

"Wait just a cotton-pickin' minute!" the Stag supporters objected. "Let's talk this over!"

Lord Bilias may be a Destroy the Stag radical, but we owe him a debt of gratitude for one thing. Until he spoke up, we had no idea that there were also Revere the Stag radicals in the Council of Nobles. Clearly, a compromise was in order, and it was up to the Centrists to pull it off. We had our work cut out for us.

I am here to tell you that the Center held. As the leader of the Centrists, it is my signal honor to host the Magnificent Golden Stag for your pleasure and edification. Of course, I had it professionally stuffed so that it will endure to inspire future generations for years to come. And rest assured, should Bilias and his radicals attempt to destroy the Stag again, the Center will be here to defend it.