Magic Hate Ball

Have I got a new toy for you! It works ... similarly to the well-known Magic Eight Ball. Slightly. And it looks kind of like the Magic Eight Ball. A little. But it's not the Magic Eight Ball. Even if you think it looks and works exactly like the Magic Eight Ball. It's not. This is very important for you to understand. For many reasons, mostly artistic, but also a little legal.

So, anyway, this is the Magic Hate Ball! It's bigger than the Magic Eight Ball. It's better. It's politically sounder. It's more satisfying.

Here's how it works. You just concentrate very hard, shake it, and it gives you an answer! I know, I know. But this is different. It has fewer and more incisive answers! Just get a load of these Magic Hate Ball answers:

1. No!

2. It's Obama's fault!

3. More guns!

4. Illegal aliens bad!

5. Muslims evil!

See? That covers every question anyone could possibly ask. It's short. It's sweet. It's functional.