copyright © 2003 by Robert L. Blau

    Once upon a time, there was a peaceful community that depended on wool for its livelihood.  Since sheep were such a vital resource for this society, Head Shepherd was a powerful and coveted position.  To ensure that their sheep received the best care and protection, the people elected the Head Shepherd every four years.
    All went well with this system until one Head Shepherd, Little Bo Bill, was caught diddling the sheep.
    "For shame, Little Bo Bill!" cried the people. "That's supposed to be 'Head Shepherd,' not 'Sheep Head.'"
    "I never touched her," swore Little Bo Bill.
    "And lying about it, too!  For shame!"
    So the people ran Little Bo Bill out of town on a rail.
    In the next election, the Mutton Chops R Us corporation ran a candidate named Little Bo George.  Little Bo George's campaign slogan was, "I will not diddle the sheep!"  Most of the people didn't like Little Bo George, but he had a lot of money behind him, so he became Head Shepherd, anyway.
    "Great!" said Little Bo George. "Now let's give all the sheep to Mutton Chops R Us!"
    Most of the people didn't think this was a very good idea.
    "What you don't seem to understand, Little Bo George," they said. "is that we sell wool and wool products.  If we give away the sheep, we won't have anything to live on."
    "What you don't seem to understand," said Little Bo George, "is that I owe my job to MCRU, and if I don't deliver the sheep, they won't let me keep it or give me all the nice things they've been giving me."
    But the people would not be persuaded.  So Little Bo George had to smuggle sheep to MCRU a few at a time.  But Little Bo George spent so much time palling around with the MCRU execs that he really spent very little time watching the sheep. One day, half the herd wandered off.  It wasn't long before people noticed.
    "Good heavens!" they wailed. "What happened to the sheep?"
    "Wolf!  Wolf!" cried Little Bo George. "The wolves came and devoured the sheep en masse!"
    "Oh, dear!" said the people. "There haven't been wolves in these parts for years.  Are you sure?"
    "Am I sure?" screamed Little Bo George. "Am I sure?  Of course, I'm sure!  I saw them with my own two eyes!  I know exactly where they are!"
    "You do?" said the people. "And where is that?"
    "In the forest," said Little Bo George. "They're hiding in the forest, just waiting to mass-devour the rest of our sheep!"
    "What shall we do?  What shall we do?" cried the people.
    "Burn down the forest!" said Little Bo George.
    The people weren't too sure about this, but Little Bo George was the Head Shepherd, and they did want to protect their sheep.  "Hey, if you can't trust the Head Shepherd, who can you trust?" they reasoned.
    So they burned down the forest.
    "Now," said Little Bo George, "let's bring in Mutton Chops R Us to rebuild our herd."
    "Gee, sounds reasonable to us," said the people.
    Then half the remaining herd wandered off.
    "Say," said one troublemaker. "Did you notice that sheep are still disappearing?  Leveling the forest doesn't seem to have done the trick."
    "You know what?" said another troublemaker. "I still haven't seen a single wolf.  Not even a charred wolf skeleton in the entire forest.  I mean ex-forest."
    "Wolf!  Wolf!" cried Little Bo George.
    "Where?  Where?  We don't see any wolves," yelped the startled people.
    "Well, of course, you don't see them," said Little Bo George, "They've cleverly hidden themselves.  They probably ran off to the next forest.  But don't worry!  We'll find them!  In the meantime, let's let the guys from MCRU work ..."
    "Wait a minute," said another troublemaker.  There seemed to be more and more troublemakers as time wore on. "We still haven't seen any of those wolves of mass devouring.  You wouldn't be lying to us, would you, Little Bo George?"
    "Wolf!  Wolf!" cried Little Bo George.
    The people jumped.
    "We still haven't seen any wolves," persisted the troublemaker.
    "Well, well," said Little Bo George. "We've got some revisionists here, trying to tell you what happened didn't happen."
    "What are 'revisionists?'" someone asked.
    "A 'revisionist' is a bad thing to be," said Little Bo George. "It's supposed to remind you of Chinese communism."
    "Oh," said troublemaker #1. "Like the revisionists who were purged during the Chinese Cultural Revolution for trying to lead their nation towards capitalism?  That kind of revisionist?"
    "Maybe not that kind," said Little Bo George. "A revisionist is someone who attacks what everyone knows is true and says it isn't."
    "Oh," said troublemaker #2. "Kind of like Copernicus and Galileo and Einstein, huh?"
    "Oh, shut up," said Little Bo George. "All those words ending in 'ist' are bad.  Think terrorist, communist, fascist, revisionist.  Get it?"
    "How about catching you in a lie?" suggested troublemaker #3. "Would that make someone a revisionist?"
    "Sheep have been getting lost in that forest for years!" declared Little Bo George. "Everyone knows that!  That's why we had to burn it down!"  
    "So what happened to the wolves now?" asked troublemaker #1. "Let's run this guy out of town on a rail."
    "Uh, nope!  No can do," interjected another voice.
    "Why not?" asked the troublemakers.
    "Well, since Little Bo George has been in power, some of us have been learning the advantages of hanging around with the Mutton Chops R Us guys.  We like working for MCRU.  We like Little Bo George."
    "But we ran the other guy off for practically nothing!" protested the troublemakers. "Little Bo George has lost his sheep and doesn't know where to find them!  What's left, he's giving away to profiteers.  He has lied to us at every turn, induced us to burn down our forest, killing thousands of animals.  He has destroyed our economy.   Why shouldn't we get rid of him?"
    "Well," said the Little Bo George supporter, "you must admit, he didn't diddle the sheep."