Lies, Damn Lies, and Patriotism

What's in a lie? Are all lies created equal? According to the New Testament, Judas betrayed Jesus for 30 shekels. What if Judas had said, "Nope. I never done that. No way.Uh-uh." We would have called that a lie. But suppose, instead, he had said, "Well, of course, I turned him over to the authorities. It was my patriotic duty. The guy was a threat to our religion and our way of life." We would call that patriotic.

Just think how different religious life could be today, if Judas had had a smart Chief Political Advisor. Think of how the critics could have been answered ...

Critic: "Judas is a dirty, rotten traitor! Why, he's like that Brutus guy who betrayed Julius Caesar."

CPA: "We are shocked that you would smear this up-standing citizen by comparing him to ... Brutus! There is absolutely no similarity of any kind whatsoever! Brutus is known to History as a rat-fink and very bad person. He was a foreigner, not one of us! Multiple and abject apologies are in order!"

Contrite Critic: "Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry! Gosh, what was I thinking? Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry."

Next Critic: "But he got Jesus crucified! That's terrible!"

CPA: "Now, crucifixion is not a cruel and unusual punishment. We crucify dozens of people every day, so it obviously isn't unusual. Each crucifixion has to be considered in light of its own facts and circumstances. What you have to understand is that anyone who gets himself into that kind of situation is a different kind of person. We have to crucify them, don't we? And what I'm hearing, I'm afraid, is that you don't support our crucifiers. They go out there every day, dealing with the vilest scum of society to protect you, and you don't support them."

Back-pedaling Critic: "Why, of course, I support our crucifiers. Stop looking at me like that. And put down those hammers and nails. Uh, please."

Yet another Critic: "Judas broke at least two Biblical Commandments -- the ones about killing and bearing false witness."

CPA: "The Bible's just a book. Stop throwing it in our faces. The Commandments are for the good people. They don't apply to Christo-fascists. You aren't an Extreme Liberal, are you?"

YAC: "Extreme Liberal? Who, me? No, course not. Why, I'm not even a Liberal at all!"

Slightly thick Critic, who hasn't been paying attention: "I don't see what Jesus did wrong. He was always sticking up for the little guy against the rich and powerful."

CPA: "Now, I don't mean to imply that you are a traitor, a fool, or (most likely) both -- necessarily. All I'm saying is that only a traitor, a fool, or (most likely) both would talk like that. I mean, it seems like you want the Christo-fascists to win."

Thick Critic: "Squeak!"

Even thicker Critic: "Hey, how come everyone who speaks out gets smeared?"

CPA: "Gosh, you must really hate Judas.

Not the end. Is it?