Jowly Annie and the Sheep

A hungry wolf pack once came upon a herd of sheep. The sheep seemed an easy mark, and the wolves duly set upon them, chomping and chowing down at will. Until an itinerant dog happened along and drove the wolves away.

The sheep were very grateful for the dog's intervention and invited him to stay on as their protector. The dog, tired of its solitary existence, and having a bent for public service, agreed.

The wolves of course, did not retreat far. Meaty mutton meal tickets like that didn't fall into one's paws every day. So they licked their wounds and mulled over what they needed to do to get at those sheep.

"We could just wait till the mutt goes away," suggested one.

"Doesn't look like he's budging," growled another.

"Let's just rush 'im. He's only one canine to our seven."

"Yeah, that didn't work out so well the last time, though."

Then the alpha female spoke up. Her name was Annie, but she was called "Jowly Annie" because ... well, age had not been so kind to her.

"You're thinking about this all wrong," said Jowly Annie. "We have to get the sheep to kick the dog out."

"Oh, yes?" replied her unfortunate mate, the alpha male. "And how do you propose to do that? We were right in the middle of making dinner of the lot of them when that cur stuck his nose in. They can see us stalking them. The mutt's the only thing between them and a quick (but terminal) date with our digestive juices."

"They're sheep," said Jowly Annie. "You google 'stupid,' you get 14 pages of 'em under 'image results.'"

"Sure, Annie," admitted her mate, "but there are limits even to sheep stupidity."

"Really?" said Jowly Annie gnomically. "Watch and learn."

So Jowly Annie unhurriedly approached the sheep herd, haunching down within howling range, but before the dog undertook offensive actions.

"Hi, sheep," called Jowly Annie companionably. "See you got a canine protector there."

The sheep began to baa anxiously.

"Good for you," continued Jowly Annie. "Good idea. Really good idea, that."

The sheep looked puzzled, although that is nothing remarkable.

"Only," sighed Jowly Annie deeply, "I'm afraid that dog does not love Sheepdom." She sighed again, mournfully.

"What the heck is 'Sheepdom?'" asked one unusually bright sheep.

Jowly Annie gave the impertinent sheep a lean and hungry look that implied an assassination for later. "Not like you and me," she said. "Oh, no. We were raised to love Sheepdom."

"Do you mean 'love sheep,' like the way you loved my mom and dad to bits, just before the dog showed up?" asked the brightish sheep.

Another toothful glare. "The dog just wasn't raised properly," continued Jowly Annie. "It's a mutt, you see. They can't appreciate Sheepdom like you and I."

At this point, one of Jowly Annie's pups came bounding up, yipping, "I love Sheepdom! I love Sheepdom!"

"Yes, see that?" said Jowly Annie. "This here's a pure-bred canine who loves Sheepdom. If you want an authentic canine protector, you should choose him. Or one of my other pedigreed pups. They know how to serve Sheepdom properly."

So it was up to the sheep. And no one's that stupid, right?