Satan sent forth messengers among the people, saying, "Behold the state employees, how lazy they are! I and thou put in a full day's work, but they drink coffee on our tax dollars. And they get Bluebonnet Picking Day off! Who has heard of Bluebonnet Picking Day?"
    And the people listened and believed. They were exceeding wroth with the state employees, and the stories improved with each telling.
    "Didst hear that the state employees got a 15% cost of living increase?"
    "Nay, verily? Truly do they knock off at noon!"
    "Aye, and get two weeks off for Christmas!"
    The state employees heard these slanders and were much cast down, but they continued to labor faithfully.

    "So," said the Lord to Satan, "thou hast destroyed my servants' reputations, yet still they toil. Thou hast lost thy wager."
    "God, no! Er, excuse me," said Satan, catching himself. "It is true that their reputations are in tatters, but they're still getting the great pay and benefits. Just let me have a whack at those and see if they don't crack."
    "Thou art on," said the Lord. "Only touch not their workload."

    Satan caused many benefits to be revoked: cost of living raises unto the 5th generation, some of the funnier holidays, and many others. Yea, even the state-paid social security benefit he caused to be revoked. The state employees were much distressed, but still they labored on.

    "Art ready to concede?" the Lord asked Satan.
    "Good ... Uh, no," said Satan. "Of course they haven't snapped yet! You wouldn't even let me revoke the state-paid social security for incumbent employees! Only new hires! Just let me jack with their workload a little."
    "Well, all right," said the Lord. "But touch not their job security."

    So, Satan caused the state employees' workload to be increased so that there was more work than could be accomplished in a 40-hour week. The state employees were exceeding frustrated, but still they labored on, often working overtime.

    "Well," queried the Lord, "art convinced yet or not?"
    But Satan would not admit defeat. "Sure, they're still going," he said. "A secure job is a mighty important asset in today's economy. Just let me play with their job security an eensy-weensy bit, and I'll have them cussing you out good. You may think I have a foul mouth. You ain't seen nothin'."
    "Very well," said the Lord. "But mess not with their heads."

    Satan caused there to be massive budget cuts, which were followed by massive layoffs. And he caused the air to be filled with talk of "privatization." The remaining state employees were fearful, but still they labored on. Of course, many were no longer state employees, but they were too busy with survival issues to make too much fuss.

    The Lord said nought to Satan, but merely raised an eyebrow.
    "Look," replied the Prince of Darkness, "you can't claim victory as long as you keep putting restrictions on me. I need a free hand here."
    "Very well," said the Lord. "Thou hast carte blanche."
    Satan smiled.

    The minions of Satan went forth to manage the state employees. They increased the burden of work.
    "Give us more staff," said the workers. The managers cut staff.
    "We will work overtime," said the workers. The managers forbade overtime and punished employees who worked overtime. Then they punished employees for not finishing their tasks on time.
    "Help us find ways to complete these tasks," said the employees. "Tell us which are the most important, that we may not waste time on trivial crap."
    "You must do more with less," said the managers. "It is your responsibility to manage your workload. Why do you think we pay you, and with the people's tax dollars, no less?"
    And they caused each day's new crisis to succeed the last so that no one could concentrate on a single task.
    "You must have back-up," said the managers.
    "We would love to," said the workers, "but we don't even have enough time to do our own work, let alone get current on someone else's."
    "You must do more with less," said the managers. "You will be responsible for any failures resulting from inadequate back-up."
    "How can we do more with less?" asked the workers.
    "You are supposed to be professionals," said the managers. "You figure it out. But if you're going to be so helpless, we will provide you with tools."
    And they provided many and various tools, such that no one could master all of them, and the workers' skills became so fragmented that back-up went from the realm of mere impossibility to sheer fantasy.
    "Behold," said the workers. "Our work processes are so screwed up we cannot accomplish anything."
    "Yeah," said the managers, "you need to work on that in your abundant spare time."

    Then the managers caused surveys to be sent out among the workers, and the workers were asked to evaluate each other's performance. And lo! Those the surveys were given unto included all of the managers, all those who worked most closely with the managers, and a random sample of the rest. When the surveys had been completed, the workers were assembled in great meetings and taken to task for their failures.
    "Lo!" said the managers. "Thou hast failed thy customers. For, behold! The gap between their expectations and thy performance is 1.4!"
    "Uh, excuse us," said the workers, "but exactly what does that mean?"
    "Question not this scientific survey!" said the managers. "But fix thy problems, for only so canst thou be a part of the solution, and not part of the problem. Go forth and meet among thyselves and devise solutions and report them unto us. Remember only this: More staff and money shalt thou not have under any circumstances."
    "And what is your role in this going to be?" asked some.
    "It is not our problem," said the managers, "but yours."
    "But," some workers ventured, "if the problem is that we are not producing enough fast enough, how will it help to have us fritter away hours on this impossible exercise, especially when the obvious solutions are expressly forbidden?"
    "You must do more with less," intoned the managers. "Bye. Report due tomorrow."

    "Ok," said the Lord. "You win."
    "The best part," said Satan, "is that I'm going to use those surveys as ammunition for contracting out all the state business. My minions are on the move!"
    "Dost know," said the Lord, "thou hast an evil streak?"
    The Prince of Darkness blushed so mightily that it was visible even on him.
    "Shucks," he said modestly. "I learned it all hanging around the Texas legislature."