IPEP

In a scorching policy speech, President George W. Bush today excoriated critics of his nuclear power policies and insisted that his country desired only peaceful uses of nuclear energy. He further declared that he would not be cowed, and would not tolerate, any outside intervention in such peaceful pursuits.

At virtually the same time, thousands of miles away, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was decrying external meddling in Iraq. "Let those who seek to fish in troubled waters be advised," declared President Ahmadinejad, "that we will take whatever action is necessary to ensure the success of our just cause. They would be foolish to assume that minor domestic disagreements will in any way sway our iron will to stay the course!"

Following these speeches, Presidents Bush and Ahmedinejad prepared to return to their native countries. Both presidents applauded the International Presidential Exchange Program (IPEP), which has enabled them to try another country on for size. When asked for comment, President Bush had this to say:

"Wow! I wish I had Mahmoud's power to shut up critics! That's way cool! Hey, death to the Great Satan!"

For his part, President Ahmadinejad was thoughtful for a moment. "The money's good," he said. "I sure envy George's support from the Israel lobby. Wish I could take that home with me!"

Person-on-the-street polls were held in both countries to gauge the popular reaction to the exchange. People were asked for their reactions after hearing the Exchange President speak. Results were remarkably similar. In both Iran and the United State, 99% of those polled said they were unaware that there had been an exchange.