instant replay

Instant Replay

    "Good evening, sports fans! This is Ace Grbcz with today's post-game wrap-up."
    "And I'm Ace's side-kick, Deuce Veheissmuss."
    "Just remember that you're Number 2, Deuce! Ha, ha. Well, today's game between theYiffniff State Floppers and the Booya A&M Coursers proved conclusively that the Floppers had a crappy game plan. There'll be a lot of head-scratching and soul-searching in Yiffniff tonight, all right!"
    "But the Booya A&M only won 17-14. That's just three points, Ace."
    "Well, I hope Yiffniff State doesn't listen to you, Deuce, or they'll never be able to restructure their program the way they need to. Why, they should have won by 30 points, based on talent. Take the Yiffniff State passing game. That play in the 3rd quarter, for instance. They had a man open short over the middle. They could've picked up a first down there. Instead, they went for the bomb, which was broken up, and that ended their scoring threat."
    "Well, actually, Ace, the instant replay shows flagrant pass interference on that play by the Booya A&M safety. That play should've been a touchdown, or, at the very least, a first down on the Booya A&M one yard line."
    "Instant replays can't be used in college football, outside of the Big Ten, Deuce. Now, let's look at the Yiffniff State running game. Pathetic! They only scored one touchdown on the ground and couldn't break a long-gainer all night. They kept going off-tackle and up the middle, even when that strategy obviously didn't work."
    "Um, it did, actually, Ace. Remember the 80- and 70-yard touchdown runs that were called back in the first quarter?"
    "'Called back' is the key, isn't it, Deuce? Those holding penalties cost them about 200 rushing yards tonight. They're going to have to deal with that."
    "But, Ace! The instant replays showed that there were no violations on either of those runs! They should've counted!"
    "Now, you know instant replays can't be used. I've mentioned that once already. But let's move on to Yiffniff State's god-awful defense. Booya A&M moved the ball pretty much at will all night."
    "That may be because the refs kept calling bogus penalties against Yiffniff State. I know you don't like to hear about the instant replay tapes, Ace, but they show several officiating errors. And there was that one time where the refs accidentally gave Booya A&M an extra down."
    "But you see, Deuce, no one noticed that until later, so now it's too late. Nothing changes the fact that Yiffniff State lost a game they should have won by 30 points."
    "Ace, if you figure in all the bad officiating, Yiffniff State actually won the game, at least 35-3. There's your 30 points."
    "Gosh, are you dense, Deuce. All that matters is the final score on the board. Yiffniff State lost! That means they have to go back to the drawing board and completely overhaul their strategy."
    "I'd say it's the officiating that needs to be completely overhauled."
    "That is so sour grapes, Deuce."