In a Handbasket
"Where are we going, and what am I doing in this handbasket?"copyright © 2007 by Robert L. Blau
It came to pass that all of humanity were traveling together in a single conveyance, and they conversed among themselves, speaking of their destination and the vehicle that was to carry them there.
"What manner of vehicle is this?" asked the First. "All round and wickery as it is?"
"Truly, I know not," said the Second.
"Surely," said the Third, "it is some manner of basket."
"You speak truly," said the Fourth, "but what manner, would you say?"
"It is of a nature such as can be grasped in the hand," rejoined the First. "Is this not what one would call a 'handbasket?'"
"Yea, and verily," said the Second. "You have indeed nailed it."
"But, say," said the Third, "does it not feel warm to you?"
"Indeed, it does," agreed all the others.
"Then where is it we are going?" asked the Third. "And at such high speed!"
"Truly," said the Fourth, "I know not, but it must surely be a heatsome place."
"Look, yonder!" cried the Fifth, pointing to a rapidly approaching spot outside the conveyance. "That must be our destination! And great are the letters on the sign above its gates!"
"What say they?" asked the First.
"Never was reading my strongest suit," declaimed the Second, "but that first letter looks very like unto an 'H.'"
"Well read, well read, indeed!" cried the Third. "But what of the second letter?"
"'E,' I think," said the Fourth.
Then spoke a woman child who was among the number of the travelers.
"It says, 'hell,' you morons. While you blather away, wasting time, we're going to hell in a handbasket. You have to stop it now, while there's still time. I'm 12 years old, and it's obvious to me. What's the matter with you?"
And all the travelers applauded.
"Well spoken," they said.
"Great," said the girl. "So, let's do it!"
"Nay," replied the others, "for we have not the power. All we can do is wile away the time until impact."
"What manner of weave would you say this basket is?" asked the First.
"A good question, and no mistake," said the Second.