Immunity
copyright © 2008 by Robert L. Blau
Oddly enough, not every citizen of Possum's Backside was ecstatic when Black Bart was elected sheriff. Come to that, not every citizen believed that Black Bart was elected sheriff, but whom could they complain to? The sheriff?
Malcontents notwithstanding, it didn't take long for most people to settle comfortably into tyranny and abuse of power. Heck, the dirtiest, nastiest, meanest outlaw this side of the Potomac the man may be, but at least, he could protect the town from other outlaws. I mean, what good is being the dirtiest, the nastiest, and the meanest, if you can't protect your own, huh?
One small thing, though. When the First National Bank of Possum's Backside was robbed one ill-omened day, it quickly became obvious that it was the sheriff himself who had pulled off the heist. How could you be sure? Well, when Black Bart swaggered out of the bank, loaded with loot, in broad daylight, ... it was considered a broad hint. And it did get the attention of the citizenry, who began to get a tad miffed.
One other small thing. The bank officers opened up the vault for him, helped him carry out his loot, and loaded it into his waiting wagon. "Garsh," they said, "he asked us, and he is the sheriff, and we had to be good citizens, didn't we?"
The good folks of Possum's Backside didn't see it quite that way. The way they saw it was more like grand larceny.
"You know," said the town folks, "if you want to be such a good citizen, you could try doing it with your own money, not the hard-earned nest-eggs we entrusted to your care. Bank robbery is illegal, and the participation of bank officials doesn't make it any better."
Champions of the People sprang up and started challenging Sheriff Black Bart and his minions. Not least among these was one White Bart, who seemed to be just about everything Black Bart wasn't.
"Black Bart," cried White Bart, "you and your henchmen are dastardly criminals. We are not going to stand for this. You have broken the law, and you are going to go to jail for it!"
Black Bart wasn't used to being challenged, so he decided to be conciliatory.
"I kin see the law is a problem," conceded Black Bart. "I tell you what! We'll just change the law! From now on, bank robbing ain't a crime, seein' as I only done it to perteck yer money."
"That doesn't begin to cover it," objected White Bart. "Even if we were to let you get away with that, bank robbery has definitely been against the law until now. So you're still in deep doo-doo."
"Now, hold on there," said Black Bart with his most engaging smile. "I ain't finished yet. We change the law all the way back until before I ... took yer money into my perteckshun. So, I's ok, and the nice bank officers, who also hepped git me elected, is also ok."
"When hell freezes over!" declared White Bart.
"You tell 'im!" cheered the town folks. "Maybe you could be our sheriff, after we run Black Bart off."
"You don't say?" mused White Bart. "Why, I think I'll just throw my hat into the ring, at that."
"Aw, let's compermise!" urged Black Bart. "C'mon! How's about this: When I steal yer money, I promise t'be very consid'rate about it. An' my frien's over at the bank, they wuz jus' bein' good citizens, follerin' orders, as y' might say. Can't fault 'em for that, can we?"
"Sounds fair to me!" agreed White Bart. "You know, running for sheriff sure makes a guy see reason."