Immigration Debate

"Send 'em back where they came from! That's what I say!"

The council meeting had been called to discuss the thorny immigration problem, and it was going from contentious to ugly.

"I think that's a bit extreme." That was my contribution. I guess I'm in the "liberal wing."

"Oh, really? How, exactly?"

"Bunch of thieves!"

"Lazy buggers."

"Dirty, too!"

"Awfully good at taking, but what have they ever given back?"

There was no dearth of replies to my modest comment.

"Look," I said, "they have braved untold hardships to seek a better life here. It would be heartless to just turn them away."

"Oh, yeah? And who invited them?"

"Can't even speak the language. They could at least make an effort!"

"Not our fault if they can't make a go in whatever slimy backwater they came from."

"And they act all weird and have funny ideas about religion."

"And they're the wrong color."

Ok, maybe there's no "wing" after the "liberal."

"What about this?" I suggested. "We let them stay for some agreed period of time, give them a chance to show that they can be productive citizens and good neighbors. Then, if it doesn't work, we can still deport them. What do you think?"

"I say, back in their damn ships now. Trust me on this!"

"Beads! Really! How insulting!"

"Right! Send the white devils packing! Or sailing."

"For shame!" I scold. "I'll bet they wouldn't behave this way if the moccasin were on the other foot."