"So, what are you working on now, Walter?"
    "The Snorfdorp modifications."
    "How are you coming on the Friznap project?"
    "I haven't been working on that.  I thought it had been shelved."
    "Oh, no.  Our Business Partners need that as soon as possible."
    "Um, how about the Snorfdorp project?  Should I push that back?"
    "Oh, no.  Can't do that!  Snorfdorp is top priority."
    "Then what about Friznap?"
    "You need to be working on both."
    Ring-ring!
    "Oh, excuse me, George.  It's the telephone.  Hello?"

    "Is this Walter?  Oh, good!  I'm a headhunter, and I've been looking at your resume.  I think we have a very interesting opportunity for you.  If this isn't a good time for you to talk, you can call me back."
    "Oh, I guess this is as good a time as any.  But I doubt that you have anything that could interest me."
    "But you're dissatisfied at your present job, aren't you?"
    "Well, yes, but I don't think that anything I would qualify for at a comparable rate of pay would be any different.  Also, it's very important to me do socially meaningful work."
    "So, are you doing that now?"
    "Well, no," Walter admitted.
    "Let's see," said the headhunter.  "You have 20 years of experience in computer programming and analysis.  All mainframe COBOL."
    "Not very marketable in these post-Y2K days, huh?"
    "One of my clients is a non-profit environmental organization that's looking for an experienced mainframe COBOL programmer.  Does that sound interesting?"
    "Sure!" replied Walter, flabbergasted.  "But it doesn't make sense.  I've never heard of a non-profit with a mainframe computer before.  They must be in New York or LA."
    "Oh, no.  They're right here in town.  But they don't have a mainframe computer.  They just decided that a person with mainframe COBOL experience would have the kind of skills they need.  The job doesn't call for any programming at all.  It deals with public education and advocacy concerning environmental issues."
    "That does sound interesting.  Probably a lot of odd hours and overtime .."
    "Nope," said the headhunter.  "Standard 40 hour week."
    "Pager?"
    "Never!"
    "Well, I'm interested, but I'm sure I couldn't take the cut in pay."
    "Nonsense.  They're prepared to offer you $43 million dollars a year."
    "What?"

    "I said, what happened to the Googleblap report?  I picked it up from our server this morning, and it looks like last week's!"
    "Ok, let me check that out.  If you'll just hang on for a minute...  Uh, huh.  The FTP failed.  I'm not sure why.  I'll just run that again and call you back when it's done.  Sure.  Thanks."

                                                    *************

    "Well, it looks like everyone is here, so let's get started with this exit review.  Will you explain your project to us, Walter?"
    "Sure.  This should be pretty simple and straightforward.  There are no new programs, just a few modifications to a couple of old programs.  Oh, yes.  And a one line change to a job control file."
    "Does that job file have a file transfer in it?"
    "Yes, but I didn't touch that part.  It's been that way for years."
    "That job file will have to be split into two."
    "But I didn't touch it."
    "That means you'll have to get the scheduling people involved.  New job file, you know.  And, of course, you'll have to cut another change ticket for that."
    "But I didn't touch it."
    "Security breach.  That file will have to be encrypted."
    "It didn't have to be for the last 14 years."
    "The data security people will have to be involved."
    Da-da-dump, da-da-dump, da-da-dump-dump-dump!
     "Whoops!  William Tell Overture.  Mind if I get the cell phone?  Hello?"

    "I have some great news!"
    "Oh, hi, sweetie."
    "You have to come home right now!"
    "I can't.  I'm having an exit review."
    "Screw the exit review!  We just won the lottery!"
    "No kidding!  How much?"
    "$43 million!"
    "You're kidding!"

    "No, I'm not.  We're having an emergency project meeting in 15 minutes.  So, get your butt back here as soon as that exit review is over!"
    "Yeah, thanks, George.  See you in 15."

                                                    *************

    "What's the hang-up on Snorfdorp, Walter?  I thought it was about 50 lines of code."
    "Um, well, uh, it was, George.  That was before the exit review.  Now I have 17 new job files, six new change tickets, and action items that have to be approved by J. Edgar Hoover."
    "You mean Louis Freeh.  He's the FBI Director now."
    "No, it says 'J. Edgar Hoover.'"
    "Guess you'd better go dig him up, then.  That deadline can't slip.  If it means overtime, that's just the way it is.  Oh, looks like you have company.  Catch you later."
    "Yes?"

    "Walter?  Is it really you?"
    "Yes, I'm Walter, but who are you?  I'm sorry, but I don't believe we've met."
    "We're your parents, Walter!"
    "No, you're not.  I met my parents.  They're both dead."
    "Oh, no, Walter.  Those were your adoptive parents.  We foolishly gave you up at birth, and we've been looking for you ever since."
    "But I'm 53 years old.  What's the point?"
    "We're fabulously wealthy, Walter, but we have no heir.  And now our health is failing rapidly.  In fact, it's a good thing we found you, because we'll probably be dead within the week.  And now we're going to leave you $43 million dollars in our will."
    "That means I can get out of here now!"

    "I'm afraid not.  This is an emergency install scheduled for 7 p.m.  You're the only one available who can stage it.  I hope this won't be an inconvenience."
    "Of course not.  I don't have any planes to catch."
    "Oh, by the way, it requires a nonstandard compile with some freaky options and manual steps ..."

                                                    *************
 

    Ah, home at last, and to bed.  To sleep, perchance to dream ...
    Bzzt, bzzt!
    There goes the pager.  Better answer that.  "Yes?"

    "Walter?"
    "Yes.  Who are you, and how did you get my pager number?"
    "Walter, I just stumbled across your web site and read some of your stories.  Dynamite stuff!"
    "Um, most people just send an e-mail.  Well, one person did, anyway."
    "Oh, but Walter, this couldn't wait!  I'm a publisher, and I can put you on the New York Times best-seller list!  I'm prepared to offer you a generous advance."
    "Don't tell me.  $43 million."
    "Exactly!  How did you know?"
    "It's my fantasy, Bub."

    "Excuse me?"
    "I mean, what's the trouble ticket number on that?  Yeah, I'll get right on it.  Just have to crank the ol' notebook up.  Thanks."

    "Honey, what was that?"
    "Just the pager."
    "Can't they even leave you alone at night?"
    "Ah, don't worry.  It won't be for long.  Something is bound to turn up sooner or later."