A Government Takeover of Time

I must protest in the strongest possible terms the latest power grab by the Federal government. If you are one of those who complacently believes that healthcare deform is the greatest threat to our Democracy, I must assure you that something much worse is afoot. I refer to nothing less than the incipient government takeover of time. This is Socialism writ large indeed.

But perhaps you don't believe me. "Government takeover of time?" I hear you whine querulously. "Stuff and nonsense! The government can't take over time!" Well, have you looked at your watch lately? One hour is missing! That's right! Last night, the government took one hour out of our American Day! They call it "Daylight Savings Time," but I call it Socialist theft of our hard-earned time. "Oh, but they've been doing that for a long time," you may say. Well, shame on you for letting them get away with it in the first place. But have you noticed that Socialist Time Theft has been growing over the past few years? Now, it starts in the middle of March and ends only at the end of October. That leaves us just four and a half measly months of good old free-market standard time. So which is really standard, the four and a half months, or the seven and a half months? Huh? Huh?

Are you going to let the government tell you what time it is? Well, I'm not going to stand for it. Time is a private resource, to be bought and sold like anything else. This is not the country I was born in, and I don't think the Socialist time thieves were born here, either, if you catch my drift. I want my America back! Hands off our time!