A Good Idea

Who knew he was going to screw it up so badly? It was really a very simple project, a hell of an idea, in fact. It should have been a slam-dunk. With competent leadership, that is.

"How was I supposed to know they were going to yell and scream and fight back so much? You'd think they would show a little appreciation for all we've done for them," he says. As if that's an excuse.

"More sulfur, Ashtaroth. That's the ticket." That's what ol' Belial said to me the other day. Now, I'm not saying I agree or disagree, I only mention it to show you that there are a lot of good ideas out there. Asmodai wants to turn the heat up a few notches. Thinks that ought to do the trick. Vassago suggests alternating extreme heat and extreme cold. Now, that's the sort of creative, outside-the-box thinking we need to make this a going concern. As I said, there're lots of ways to do this, but leave it to ol' Crumple Horns to screw it up!

As Chair of the Infernal Policy Advisory Committee, I just want to reiterate that hell is a great idea. We totally need a place to do flayings and impalings and drawing and quartering and so on. I wouldn't change the basic concept one iota. But clearly, Satan is not the demon for the job. Everything that's going wrong there is his fault, and not at all because there's anything wrong in torturing people mercilessly forever.