God's Mistake

In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth, he did a pretty good job. With one exception. When the job was done, God discovered that he had a significant surplus of rats' anuses.

"Hmm," mused the Creator. "Must've spaced out for a minute while I was doing these. Got to do something with them. I know! I'll put them out for the buzzards to eat. But I can't leave them just anywhere. I'll find the most me-forsaken spot on the planet."

So God dumped the majority of the rats' anuses in Texas, although a fair subset of them landed elsewhere. Texas had lots of buzzards and not much else. Contrary to divine expectation, however, the buzzards wouldn't touch them. The humans, proving for the first, but not the last, time that they were less discerning than buzzards, had a different reaction.

"Look!" they cried. "The Lord has sent us rats' anuses! Let us raise them up to be our leaders!"

And so they did. And continue to do so to this very day. Especially, but not exclusively, in Texas.