Fast Track
copyright © 2002 by Robert L. Blau
"Hey, Esau, c'mon in! Take a load
off!"
"What's up, Jake?"
"Oh, I just wanted to talk to you for
a couple of minutes about Fast Track. I really need your help to push
it through. You being the guy with the birthright and all. So,
if I could just relieve you of that, ..."
"What is 'Fast Track?'" asked Esau.
"It's permission for the Philistines to
march in and loot, pillage, and rape."
"Good heavens, Jake! I can't approve
that! It's my responsibility to protect the people from just such things!
Why on earth would you want to do this?"
"Because it's the right thing to do," said
Jake. "And because the Philistines are paying me a bezillion shekels."
"How could it be the right thing to
do?" gasped Esau.
"Because the Philistines are paying me
a bezillion shekels. They can cut you in, too."
"Are you suggesting that I can be bribed?"
huffed Esau. "Because I can't be!"
"No, I wouldn't suggest that," cooed
Jake. "I'm just saying we could work out a lucrative deal for that birthright."
"Aren't you going to offer me a bowl of
soup for it?"
"Oh, no. Birthrights are a lot more
lucrative these days, what with the Philistine interest we're drawing.
Is Fast Track looking any better to you?"
"Well, ahem, it may have some good points.
Are there any advantages besides being looted, pillaged, and raped?"
"No, Esau, that's about it."
"Hmm. I think we can work something
out on the birthright thing, but I can't make the deal without guaranteed
compensation for those who are impacted."
"You mean the looted, the pillaged, and
the raped? Don't worry! I'm right there with you."
"You are? What sort of compensation
did you have in mind, Jake?"
"This is where the bowl of soup comes in,
Esau."
"Is that a bowl of soup for each lootee,
pillagee, and rapee?" asked Esau.
"No, just one bowl of soup altogether."
"Sounds fair to me," said Esau. "Done!"