Edible Island

It happened one time that a dog, a cat, a pig, and a goat were shipwrecked on a desert island. The animals were in danger of starving, and were much distressed about this until they discovered a remarkable fact: the island on which they were stranded was edible.

So it was that the four castaways went from peril to prosperity in the twinkling of an eye. And this state of affairs went on for several years, until the cat noticed something.

"Say, guys," observed the cat. "I really hate to bring this up, but have you noticed that the island is not as big as it used to be?"

"Nonsense," said the pig, who was gobbling down a bit of the eastern shore. "Everything is fine."

"Now that you mention it," said the dog, "it does appear to be shrinking."

"Hmm, yes," agreed the goat. "How do you suppose that happened?"

The cat scratched himself and pondered for a moment. "We-e-ell - and this is just a wild guess, mind you - it could be that it's because we're eating the island."

"Nonsense," said the pig, chowing down a large chunk of island. "Everything is fine."

"No, I think the cat has something there," said the dog. "We've been chewing on this island for years. It stands to reason that it would get smaller."

"Even if the island is smaller," opined the pig between bites, "there's no proof that it's our fault. It could be a natural cycle. Ocean currents. Space aliens."

"Well, I think we ought to do something about this, while there's still time," said the cat.

"I agree," said the dog. "Like what?"

"First of all, we need to stop eating so much," said the cat. "At the very least, that will give us some time to think up other solutions. And we could experiment with eating some of the things that grow on the island, rather than the island itself."

"Nonsense," burped the pig. "Everything's fine."

"I'm in," said the dog. "Let's agree to some guidelines."

"How about you?" the cat asked the goat.

"Hmm, I guess so," said the goat.

"Don't look at me," said the pig.

"Well, if the pig's not in, I'm not, either," said the goat. "He eats ten times as much as the rest of us combined."

So the dog and the cat drafted and signed the Chow Down Accord. They agreed to stop eating so much of the island and started exploring other food sources, but the pig and the goat continued to chow down as if there were no tomorrow. And the island continued to shrink. Finally, the dog and cat appealed to the pig again in desperation.

"Look," said the cat. "The island is quite clearly dwindling away, and it's because we're consuming it. For the good of all of us, we need your cooperation."

"No," said the pig. "I couldn't in good conscience sign the Chow Down Accord. It would have wrecked my delicate constitution. Anway, it wouldn't do any good, because a big eater like the goat didn't sign on."

"But you are by far the greatest consumer of all of us," reasoned the dog. "If you don't sign on, of course the agreement will fail."

"Anyway, you can't prove that we're causing the island to shrink," repeated the pig. "Could be other creatures on the island."

"There are no other creatures on the island,"said the cat.

"Could be ocean currents," continued the pig. "Could be the humidity. It needs more study. Years more study. In the meantime, I'm awfully hungry. So, if you'll just excuse me ..."

"You can now see across the entire island from any point on the coast," said the dog. "At high tide, there's no dry spot anywhere. We don't have years to study the problem."

"Nonsense," belched the pig. "Everything's fine."