Distraction

"This is just a distraction. We need to be focusing on more important issues."

"Such as?"

"How you're gonna arm and feed all your soldiers. Now, I got special bulk rates that are gonna fit all your needs. Special today on hammers. Just $800 a piece!"

"I hardly think a massive gathering of warriors from three Indian nations can be called a 'distraction,' Hornblower. Especially, compared to your damn profits."

"You keep a civil tongue in your head about my profits, Lieutenant!" huffed Hornblower indignantly. "Now, I see no reason to go botherin' General Custer about this Injun business. Where you gettin' that from, anyway?"

"The scouts," said the Lieutenant. "All of the scouts."

"Oh, well, the scouts," scoffed Hornblower. "What you gotta understand about scouts is, there's a sociology there. They get paid by the gummint to find things like great, big Injun threats. If they don't, they're right out of a job, ain't they? So they find great, big Injun threats. It's what you call a 'vested interest.' And we know the gummint is evil. By definition, that is. Except when they're payin' me, of course."

"Only one I see here with a vested interest is you, Hornblower," replied the Lieutenant. "The head doctors call what you're doing 'projection.' That's accusing everyone else of being the whore you are."

"Hate to break into this," piped a scout, "but if we don't get moving right now, we're all going to be toast by tomorrow. Including you, Mr. Hornblower."

Hornblower shook his shaggy head. "Tut, tut, tut," he crooned sadly. "We've been hearing these fairy stories about the imminent descent of the Injun hordes ever since you arrived ... and we set up this lucrative business arrangement. And yet, here we still are. I don't see no Injuns attackin'. Do you? We've heard and heard that they're 'gathering,' but where's the proof?"

"Not gathering anymore," said the Scout. "Moving. Coming this way."

"Tut, tut," puffed Hornblower again. "I repeat, where's the evidence?"

"We seen 'em," squirmed the Scout anxiously. "We all seen 'em! And galloped back as fast as we could to warn everyone!"

"But that isn't credible," insisted Hornblower patiently. "I told you about the sociology and the gummint bein' evil and all. Compare that to what we know, which is, I don't see no Injuns. Look, I can sell you more guns. How about that?"