It has long been recognized that democracy
is not a workable form of government. At least, not for a society
of any size and complexity. That's why people long ago turned to
variations on the theme, such as representative democracy, in which representatives
are elected by the people to make decisions for them, or National Socialism,
in which a small group of enlightened leaders make all the decisions in
the people's best interests. In any case, it is clear that, in today's
modern, fast paced world, America's representative democracy has become
an unwieldy, cumbersome anachronism. People just don't have time
to take an interest in government anymore. Nor are they qualified
to do so. However, it is not necessary to throw out the baby with
the bath water, when a little judicious tweaking can turn a perfectly ordinary
baby into a genetically enhanced super baby that might not even need to
take baths. I therefore recommend to you Enlightened Democracy, or
Democracy Lite, for short.
Democracy Lite has two underlying
principles. First, leave the decisions either to the experts or the
people who pay the experts. A corollary of this is that the public
doesn't need any information. So, government documents can safely
be classified forever. Second, the protection of the law is restricted
to those who deserve it.
Let's take a look at how this works.
Here's an example of how decision making will work. The people will
elect a president every four years. But we know that the people aren't
smart or sober enough to choose wisely. So, what shall we do?
First, we will designate two parties to pick the candidates for president.
The parties will be funded by people who know what's best for everyone,
so they will be more responsible than the people. But we still don't
trust the people to choose wisely, so they will not vote directly for the
presidential candidates. Instead, they will vote for representatives
to vote for them. If, all these safeguards notwithstanding,
the people still can't pick the right candidate, there will be a board
of nine selectors to overturn the election. This board will consist
of appointees of previous presidents.
How about protection under the law?
If anything is clear in this post "9/11" world, it is that terrorists do
not deserve the protection of the law. Presumption of innocence will
not apply to terrorists. How, you may ask, do we know who is a terrorist?
It's simple. Anyone who commits an act of terrorism is a terrorist.
And how do we know who has committed acts of terrorism? That would
be anyone charged with terrorism or held on suspicion of terrorism.
We have experts who will make these decisions, so we won't have to worry
about them.
We will also have unlimited wiretapping
and electronic surveillance of terrorists. Might you get tapped or
"surveilled?" Maybe, but if you have nothing to hide, you won't mind
that, right? You aren't a terrorist, are you?
There will be a dual court system.
The old court system with the quaint constitutional protections and international
standards for fair trials will be for those who deserve the protection
of the law. The modern, streamlined summary courts will be for terrorists.
This will punish those evil terrorists a lot faster. And remember,
they deserve it.
Considering how efficient those new,
modern courts will be, we might want to consider whether there are any
other categories of felons who could be tried in them. Well, that
would be anyone who doesn't deserve the protection of the law. Murderers,
rapists, robbers, flag burners, ... Come to think of it, no criminal
deserves constitutional protections. So, the old courts can safely
be reserved for innocent people. The guilty will be tried in the
new courts. How do we know the difference? It's simple.
If our trained professionals determine that someone is guilty, he is!
Making these few, simple changes to
our system of government will take the onus of decision making off the
shoulders of the people, punish the guilty, and make us all feel safe again.
They should be implemented as soon as ... Now, don't tell me someone
has gone and implemented them already!