Defending the Three Rights

Countrymen. Ladies and Gentlemen. Brethren and Sistren. I am here to speak to you about an important matter. Elections are a mere year away, and it is imperative that we approach them with the utmost seriousness.

There is a dangerous mood of complacency afoot in this country, I fear. Its roots lie in the long and, for the most part, untroubled history of our system of government. The thinking begins like this: "It has served us well till now." And that is true enough. So, continues the thinking, "Therefore, it always will." Alas, this is not necessarily the case. We are beset on all sides by "enemies, foreign and domestic," as the famous oath of office phrase goes. These foreign and domestic enemies would undermine and overthrow the form of government that has served us for so many years and replace it with something repugnant. And elections may serve as a sinister opening wedge for such enemies, unless we are vigilant and diligent. We must never forget that!

As the elections approach, we must therefore work tirelessly to defend our God-given traditional rights. I need scarcely remind you what the Three Rights are, but I will do so now, as they never grow old:

First, only the Right people must be allowed to run for office.

Second, only the Right people must be allowed to vote.

Third, and most importantly, only the Right people must be allowed to count the votes.

I know, because we now have voting machines that belong to the Right people, some of you think we do not have to work so hard. But do not be deceived! The enemy is everywhere, and he is cunning and resourceful! Go forth, therefore, and defend our Rights!