deeply flawed

Deeply Flawed

We had seats on the 50-yard line.

"Aren't we lucky to get such good seats to the championship game, Grandpa?" I cried. "Look! The Longhorns are coming out onto the field!"

Grandpa smiled softly and nodded his head. "'Course, some people have trouble getting to the games these days. Nevertheless."

"Wow! The last playoff game!" I was bubbling over with excitement. "I hope the Longhorns win!"

"You know," said Grandpa, "You shouldn't take this great playoff system for granted. It hasn't always been this way."

"Really?" I replied. "What was it like before?" I had actually heard the story before, but Grandpa liked to tell it.

"Why, in the bad old days, they used to vote on the champion. Can you imagine that?"

"No, really?" I replied encouragingly. "No playoffs at all?"

"Well, they had a few pissant pretend playoff games, called 'bowls,'" he continued. "but it was the voting that really decided it. They had what they called 'polls.' Coaches and newspaper men voted. So, that was two different polls, and sometimes they voted for different champions! Now, can you beat that?"

"That's awful," I commiserated. "Didn't football do anything about that?"

"Sort of," said Grandpa. "They created something called the 'BCS.' That was for 'Bowl Championship Series.' See, they got that word 'championship' in there to fool you, but 'bowl' gave it away. They used computers instead of voting, but they still weren't settling things on the field, like they should. So, you could still have two or three teams that could've been the champion."

"But no one argues about who the champion is now," I observed. "How did we get this really great playoff system?"

"Ah!" smiled Grandpa. "You can thank God and the US Congress for that! One Congressman said these immortal words, '"Too often college football ends in sniping and controversy, rather than winners and losers. The current system of determining who's Number 1 appears deeply flawed.' I mean, you've got to have winners and losers, huh? Otherwise, what's the purpose of living? Then they had hearings and made the colleges have real playoffs and a real Number 1!"

Now, Grandpa had used some unfamiliar words. "US?" I asked. "Congress?"

"Oh," he waved dismissively, "'Congress' is another word for 'legislature.' And 'US' stands for 'United States.' All of the states used to be all together in one nation, and they called national legislature the 'Congress.' Now, the only thing all the states can get together on is football. So, it's a good thing they got the playoffs in order before the country disintegrated."

"All the states together?" I was getting confused. "How was that possible?"

Grandpa shrugged. "That was before the country went bankrupt from fighting wars in the Middle East," he said.

"In the Middle East?" I gaped. "How did the soldiers get over there?"

Grandpa shrugged again. "That was before we ran out of oil." He saw the question in my eyes. "That's what all cars and trucks and ships and airplanes - flying machines - ran on. Come on, now. You've seen the remains of the big trucks by the sides of the road."

"Those ... big ..." I groped for words. "Those used to move?"

"And then there was the global warming," Grandpa continued. He was reminiscing heavily now. "There used to be more states, like Florida and California. Under water now. And Texas used to be a lot bigger. And the Water Wars, of course. Lost both your Mom and Dad in those. And, oh, yes. The pollution."

Grandpa reached out and tugged at my suit. "Gas mask comfortable?" he asked solicitously.

"Sure, great, Grandpa," I replied.

"Environmental suit?"

"That's good, too," I said, "but I don't know why I had to wear it to the game. The sun's already gone down."

"Can't be too careful," he mumbled. "Can't be too careful."

"Guess we're lucky to have bicycles, huh, Grandpa? So we could get to the game and all."

"Yes, yes," he mused.

"I just have one question: If we had that ... whatchacallit? ... national government that could fix the football playoffs, why couldn't they fix any of that other stuff you mentioned?"

Again, Grandpa shrugged. "I guess it all comes down to priorities," he said. "I mean, can you imagine a world without an undisputed college football champ?"