You might be wondering how it all happened.  Then again, you might not.  But I just wanted to put all the questions to rest.  I don't mean to shift blame, but it was all because of the Project.  One day, my boss Quentin called me into his sett.
    "How're those tunnels coming?  You need to start testing next week, if we're going to make that deadline!"
    Quentin was badgering me about the Project, you see.  But then, what did I expect?  He is a badger, after all.  Oh, that's what a 'sett' is, in case you were wondering.  Badger hole.
    "Relax, Quentin," I said reassuringly. "I'm right on schedule.  Everything's going to be fine."
    "See that it is.  The Project has been going on long enough.  Upper management is getting impatient."
    "Well, do they know about all the problems we've had coordinating rabbits, beavers, moles, badgers, otters, and muskrats?  How hard it is to get priority from some of those varmints?  Heck, the beavers are more concerned with building their lodges, the badgers are always going off to work on their dung pits, and who knows what the rabbits are doing!"
    "Dung pits do have high priority, Homer," mumbled Quentin apologetically. "But we have to get serious now.  I'm working those issues.  I'm going to need 100% of your time."
    "Gee, I don't know about that," I said. "Mole management has the Project only 26th on their list of priorities.  Not much I can do about that.  But, as I said, I should still have those tunnels done in plenty of time."
    "Hmph," Quentin grumbled. Then, "Oh, there's just one more thing."
    "Yes?" I asked expectantly.
    "You've got the four dams on Beaver Creek now."
    "I beg your pardon?" I gasped.
    "The Beaver Creek dams," Quentin repeated. "You have to do those in addition to your tunnels."
    "Dams?" I spluttered. "Dams?  I'm a mole.  I don't know anything about dams.  Aren't the beavers taking care of that?"
    "Nope.  Not anymore," said Quentin curtly. "We decided that, since Beaver Creek runs by your digging grounds, it should be your responsibility now."
    "But I'm a mole," I protested. "I'm a great digger, but I don't know how to build a dam!  I'm afraid of water!  I can't even swim!"
    "It just makes good business sense," said Quentin sagely.
    I thought I would try a slightly different tack.
    "Assuming for a moment that it really makes sense for a mole to build a beaver dam, how does it make sense to do this in the middle of a project already beset by conflicts, delays, and missed deadlines?"
   "Better get on it," said Quentin.
    "Hadn't the beavers already planned on doing those dams?" I asked shamelessly.
    "Maybe," said Quentin. "But they're too busy with their other dams.  And the lodges, of course."
    "So, is anyone going to teach me how to build a beaver dam?" I asked.
    "They're too busy," said Quentin. "Haven't you ever heard how busy beavers are?"
    "They're Rodentia; I'm Insectivora.  We're not even in the same family," I whined.
    "You're small and furry," said Quentin. "Close enough."

    I didn't make that deadline.  About two months later, Quentin called me into his sett again.  It didn't smell very good, but the decorations were tastefully coordinated.  I wondered how he made that gamy sett match.
    "I have to take you off the Project," Quentin said. "I have some tunnels up north that need serious attention."
    "So?" I asked.
    "The beavers are getting the dams back," he said.
    "Well, that's a relief," I said. "I still haven't got the hang of dam building.  I tried to climb up one of those darn things to see how they were made.  Fell down and almost broke my neck, such as it is.  Nearly drowned, too.  Take it from me, scaling dams is no fun.  I'm ready to go back to digging."
    "Not so fast," said Quentin. "You have to stay on the dam building until you've trained a beaver to take over."
    "Train a beaver ...?" I sputtered. "Me?  You're joking, right?"
    "Don't tell me you would simply dump a complex project like this on someone else?" gasped Quentin.
    "Um, wouldn't dream of it," I lied. "But does it make sense for a mole to teach a beaver how to build a dam?"
    "Hey, you're the one who's been working on this project," Quentin replied. "Don't want to dump this on the poor beavers without so much as a howdy-do.  We need to have a long transition period and a transition plan."
    "Um, sure," I said. "I guess so.  Just one thing.  Hardly worth bringing up.  But two months ago, when you gave me the dams, from the same beavers, I might add, how come we didn't have all that transition stuff then?"
    Quentin's face seemed to clear with understanding.  "Homer," he said, "you bring up a good point.  Was that really two months ago?  With all that time, how come you haven't finished yet?"

    So, when people ask why you never see a beaver on Beaver Creek, well, that's pretty much the story.  I caught a lot of flak from Quentin, but, in my own defense, I did build the dams.  Only subterranean dams in the world, I'm told.  Anyway, I'm not doing that anymore.  Nope.  They've got me working on eagle nests now.  I'm building them underground, of course.  I have a fear of heights.