"I'm afraid those figures are only estimates, General."

"What do you mean, 'estimates,' Grunt? Can't you account for all the armaments? You're the Arms Coordinator, Lieutenant!"

Lieutenant Grunt squirmed. "I know, Sir. The problem is, Sir, that the company coordinators have been swapping guns and ammo behind my back. This one needs a cannon, that one needs a thousand rounds of small arms ammunition. They just trade stuff without telling me."

"Why do you let them do that, Grunt?"

"All of the company coordinators are captains, Sir. When I question them on anything, they pull rank. You've given me the responsibility, General, but not the authority to carry it out."

"That's where your people skills come in, Lieutenant. Persuade them."

"Uh, if you say so, Sir. There is, uh, one other complicating factor, Sir. The mercenaries. All of the companies are hiring them, and nobody tells me when they arrive or how many there are. They all need to be armed, too."

"Work it out with the company coordinators, Grunt!"

"Yes, Sir."

                                                  ***********************

"I understand you've been talking to my squadron leaders, Lieutenant."

"That is correct, Captain Dweeb. I'm trying to take an inventory of our armaments, and that seemed the best way."

"I don't ever want to hear that you've been going to my squadron leaders behind my back! I'm the company coordinator, Grunt!"

"And I'm the Arms Coordinator. I need to know exactly what arms and ammunition we have and where they are at all times. We're all in the same army. We all have the same mission. Why can't we cooperate?"

"You're bordering on insubordination, Grunt. Do I have to remind you who has the higher rank?"

                                              ***************************

"We need to move a hundred thousand rounds of ammunition to the front line immediately! What do you mean we don't have any, Captain Doofus?"

"I got a great deal on blankets and turquoise jewelry, Lieutenant. How could I pass it up?"

"You traded all our ammunition? To the Sioux? For blankets and jewelry? General Custer isn't going to like this."

"Aw, he'll get over it. We'll make a killing on the stuff back home."