Have you seen those writing samples that have been making their way around the internet?  You know.  The ones that show how poorly today's teenagers express themselves?  Small wonder we're slipping back into the Dark Ages.  Well, I teach business writing, and I can tell you that the adults aren't any better.  Faulty grammar, poor spelling, archaic sentence structures, ...  It's enough to make a grown man weep, I tell you.
    There is hope, however.  People like me, for example.  Some of the more enlightened among you might notice that this piece is actually very poorly written.  To you, I apologize.  But this is necessary to communicate with the benighted majority.  I am an expert at Corpspeak, and I teach it to all my students.  Corpspeak is a dialect of Bureaucratese, and it is rapidly becoming the preferred communication tool of the civilized world.  It is clearly superior to more primitive modes of speech in flexibility, nuance, and weight.
    But allow me to give you some persuasive examples.  First, I will give you some definitions and pointers on how to use Corpspeak.  Then, I will provide actual examples of the work of some of my students.

Definitions/pointers that will improve both your written and oral expression:

1.  Going forward (adv) - In the future; from now on
Example:
    "All resources must conform to these standards going forward."  Translation:  "From now on, you have to do this crap."
Tip:  Never, never say, "in the future" or "from now on."

2.  Transition (v) - Move; give
Examples:
    "This project will be transitioned to you, effective immediately."  Translation:  "I'm giving you this project."
    "Last year, Mr. Jones transitioned to greater responsibility."  Translation:  "Mr. Jones was promoted last year."
Tip:  "Transition" is not a noun.

3.  Drive (v) - Push really hard; or some other meaning of your choice
Examples:
    "We expect our resources to drive for results."  Translation:  "I don't care how you do it, but if you don't hand me a bug-free product on time, you're posterior is going to be grass going forward."
    "John's ability to drive synergy has driven our decision to transition him to greater responsibility going forward."  Translation:  "We decided to promote John."
Tip:  Never write two consecutive paragraphs without using the word "drive" at least once.

4.  Own (v) - Be responsible for
Examples:
    "I own the logistics of this project."  Translation:  "I am responsible for making this thing work."
    "Ownership goes beyond the individual task."  Translation:  "You're responsible for everything."

5.  Have visibility into (v) - Know about
Example:
    "I have no visibility into that."  Translation:  "I don't know."
Tip:  It is never permissible to say, "I don't know," but it's ok not to have visibility into something.

6.  Resource (n) - Someone who works for you; human cog
Example:
    "I want a VB-knowledgeable resource."  Translation:  "I want a person who knows Visual Basic."
Tip:  In referring to a resource, do not use words that imply humanity.

7.  Leverage (v) - to use to gain additional benefit (as you would a lever)
Example:
    "I expect you to leverage your training to drive for results."  Translation:  "Since I paid for your training out of the organization's budget, I expect you to do twice as much work."  (See Example 1 for "drive," above.)
Tip:  Again, not a noun!

8.  Synergy (n) - A combined product that is greater than its components
Example:
    "Driving resource allocation will leverage synergy going forward."  Translation:  Uh, not quite sure.

9.  Issue (n) - A problem
Example:
    "The space shuttle Challenger blew up because of an issue with the O-rings.
Tip:  There is no such thing as a problem.

10. Opportunity (n) - A problem
Example:
    The terrorist bombings of the World Trade Center towers illuminated an opportunity for US security.
Tip:  Remember!  There is no such thing as a problem!

Student samples.  The following examples were written by my students.  Each of them at first presented me with horridly written pieces of ... work.  Worst of all, was a student I'll call "Will."  Pathetic.  However, with my tutelage, the originals were remolded into the magnificent tours de force that you see below...

1.  The issue is whether or not to go forward.  Is it better to lose market share in this soft economy, or to slash opex, and, by aggressively leveraging our competitive advantage, grow the company? - by "Will"

2.  Going forward, we slip day over day, until the deadline is missed.  And all our historical activities have transitioned inadequate resources to termination. - by "Will"

3.  Romeo, Romeo!  What are your KSA's?  That which we call a resource, if properly trained, will provide more value. - by "Will"

4.  It is an accepted industry standard that all resources are equivalent, that they are empowered by their CEO with certain responsibilities, and that these include, but are not limited to:  Driving for Results, On-Time Completion of Deliverables, and Superior Customer Focus. - by "Tom"

5.  Eighty-seven years ago, historically, our founders chartered a new corporate entity, driven by the Market and dedicated to the proposition that all customers have equal access to products. - by "Abe"

Happy writing!  Own it.  Drive it. Transition to greater clarity going forward.  Create synergy.  Leverage your opportunities.  Grow those skills!