We Jews know that the Angel of Death is not a particularly bright guy.  After all, if we hadn't given him the lamb's blood on the doorpost back in Egypt, he wouldn't have slaughtered the right babies.  We never name a child after a living person for fear that, when the older person's time comes,  the Ditz of Death will get confused and grab the child instead.  Consider the following story in light of the foregoing.  And the angel's name in the story is a particularly hideous corruption of the Hebrew for "Angel of Death."

    "I have come to terminate thy operations, Bubba."
    "By whose authority?  You can't be from the state.  They always give me plenty of notice before sending anyone out.  Anyway, it's impossible to get on their bad side.  Say, would you like a bushel of money to go away?"
    "Thy money shalt not save thee now.  Thou art guilty of massive air pollution."
    "Yeah, yeah.  Of course we are.  But it's ok.  We're grandfathered.  The State of Texas has blessed our air pollution."
    "Thou art guilty of extensive water pollution."
    "That's ok, too.  We have a permit for that."
    "Thou art guilty of inflicting suffering and death on countless of thine own kind."
    "Hey!  Not directly.  We don't make them drink the water or breathe the air.  Just doin' business.  Know what I mean?  Say, you sure you got the right company?  Who are you, anyway?"
    "I am Malik Hamauvaise.  I come on orders from the Most High."
    "Look, Mal, -- mind if I call you Mal? -- have a seat.  Put down your scythe.  Lemme take a look at those orders.  I'm sure we can work something out here.  Let's see.  Ah!

               Whereas Homo sapiens is guilty of massive environmental destruction, including pollution of the water and air and
                    wanton disregard of fellow life forms, leading to endangerment and mass extinctions;
                    Whereas Homo sapiens has demonstrated unparalleled cruelty and viciousness toward members of their own species,
                    including genocide, abuse of children, abuse of females, callous oppression of the poor, and many other crimes, too
                    numerous to mention;
                    Whereas Homo sapiens has demonstrated arrant stupidity in screwing up the incredibly beautiful world they have been
                    allowed to populate and overpopulate;

                    Therefore, Homo sapiens is declared to be a failed species and shall be terminated forthwith while there is still time
                    for their world to recover.

                    Jehovah
                    CEO
                    The Universe

"Y'see, Mal, you've got the wrong guy.  I'm the CEO for Royal Air Pollution Enterprises.  Who you need to talk to is the Species CEO."
    "Say, thou art correct!  Where can I find this Species CEO?"
    "Well, I'm afraid I don't know, Mal.  But here's what I'd do.  Put it in the hands of an experienced project manager.  Tell him to get a team together.  Require regular progress reports and meaningful deliverables.  Make sure you establish measurable criteria for evaluating their progress.  I can recommend some good project management software..."
    "What excellent advice!  Thou art a true friend!"