CARP

The crayfish were getting really tired of the shenanigans of a particular predatory carp. The fish in question had apparently designated crayfish as its preferred breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack food, and harried them mercilessly.

"We have to do something about that carp crap," groused the head crayfish. "This is completely unacceptable in a civilized river."

"But what can we do?" asked one crayfish.

"The carp are members of the Cooperative Association of Riverine Piscines, as are we all," replied the head crayfish. "We need only send them a petition demanding that they rein in this renegade carp."

"They, um, hold a majority in the CARP," one of the brighter crayfish pointed out. "The Speaker is a carp."

"All the better for holding them accountable," said the head crayfish. "They can't afford the embarrassment of such a lawless carp."

"I don't think we'll be safe unless we run them out of the river," said the bright crayfish.

"I've got the petition right here," continued the head crayfish. "I want everyone to sign it. The more signatures we have, the more clout we will have with the Speaker of CARP."

And so the crayfish signed and submitted the petition demanding that the predatory carp be brought to heel (or fin). Shortly thereafter, the Speaker did indeed request an audience with the crayfish, promising to quiet them without delay. The head crayfish led the crayfish delegation.

"We demand satisfaction!" declared the head crayfish.

"Then we are of one mind," replied the Speaker, "for so do I."

And he devoured the lot.

"That," burped the Speaker, "is what I call satisfaction!"