The Boy Who Cried Wolf
copyright © 2013 by Robert L. Blau
There was once a prosperous village whose economy depended on sheep. In that village, shepherding was a good job for a young lad, and the Sheep Herders Association was a powerful institution. It is no surprise, therefore, that many an eager boy signed on with the SHA and took his solemn oath to protect and defend the village sheep.
It was a bright and promising morning when one such eager lad set off to begin his first shepherding gig. He was just settling in for a long, boring day with his woolly charges, when a huge and fearsome pack of wolves descended on the fold and proceeded to tuck into the mutton.
"Wolf! Wolf!" cried the terrified boy, hoping to raise the village in defense of the sheep. To his immense relief, his cries were answered almost instantly, as a swarm of villagers, led by the Head Shepherd boiled over the rise, engulfed the scene, swept him onto their shoulders, and threw him in jail.
"But the sheep ...," stammered the boy, in some confusion.
"You have cried 'wolf' once too often," said the Head Shepherd.
"Oh," replied the boy. "Should I have just cried 'Wolf!' once, then?"
"Point taken," said the Head Shepherd. "You have cried 'Wolf!' twice too often, then."
"I'm confused," said the boy. "Why am I in jail, and who's chasing the wolves away?"
"What did you think you were doing out there?" asked the Head Shepherd, not unkindly.
"Um, defending the sheep," said the boy. "I took an oath and everything."
The Head Shepherd shook his head sadly. "You can't just go screaming 'Wolf! Wolf!' like that."
"Is there another way I should have screamed it?" asked the boy, keen to please.
"No, no," replied the Head Shepherd. "You can't go screaming 'Wolf! Wolf!' at all. It upsets the villagers, who want to believe that the sheep are safe, and more importantly, it embarrasses me."
"Then what was I supposed to do?" asked the boy. "What about my oath to protect and defend?"
"That oath doesn't mean that you are supposed to exercise your own judgment on how to protect and defend the sheep," explained the Head Shepherd. "What would we have if we let just any old shepherd do anything he wanted to? The SHA is who protects and defends, kid. Your oath means you do exactly what we tell you to and keep your mouth shut."
"So what was I supposed to do about the wolves?" the boy repeated.
"You could have come to my office after work and told me about it, so that I could ignore you," said the Head Shepherd.
"Wouldn't that be a little late for the sheep?" asked the boy.
"I'm sure the late sheep would have had nothing to say," shrugged the Head Shepherd, "and no one would have gotten upset or embarrassed."
"But why am I in jail?" asked the boy. "What have I done to merit that?"
"Oh, you're a traitor to the village," explained the Head Shepherd.
"A traitor to the village?" gasped the boy. "How do you figure?"
"I already told you," said the Head Shepherd with exasperation. "Getting the villagers all het up and usurping SHA prerogatives."
"And embarrassing you?"
"That comes under 'usurping SHA prerogatives,'" said the Head Shepherd.
"Well, those charges are ridiculous," fumed the boy. "I insist on seeing a lawyer!"
"Don't worry," said the Head Shepherd. "You'll get a fair trial."
"I should hope so," said the boy, somewhat relieved. "The truth will come out in court."
"I'll be the judge of that," said the Head Shepherd.
"How can you judge whether the truth comes out in court or not?" scoffed the boy.
"No. Literally," said the Head Shepherd. "I will be the judge. You are an SHA employee. This is SHA business. You will be tried in an SHA court. I will be the judge. The SHA will appoint your lawyer. Don't worry. I'll probably be very humane."
"This is outrageous!" screamed the boy. "The villagers will never stand for it!"
"Of course they will," said the Head Shepherd. "You're a traitor to the village. They know that because I tell them loudly and often. They believe me because I am Official. They won't believe you because you are a traitor to the village. They know you're a traitor to the village because I told them so."
"Impossible!" insisted the boy. "The villagers will never believe such blatant lies!"
"The alternative," said the Head Shepherd, "is to think that the sheep are not safe and that I am an unaccountable, out-of-control, evil sod."
"But the sheep aren't safe," objected the boy. "And you are an unaccountable, out-of-control, evil sod."
"And that is too terrifying for the villagers to face," said the Head Shepherd simply. "It's easier for you to be a village traitor."
"What about the wolves?" sobbed the boy. "Isn't anyone going to do anything about the wolves?"
"Certainly," said the Head Shepherd. "Don't you trouble your mind about that! The wolves will be provided with ample mutton, promotions, and awards. When they retire, they'll get prestigious speaking engagements and generous honorariums. You, on the other hand, will get about 35 years."
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