If it hadn't been for the work, I wouldn't have gone.  The guys were saying you could get a good job over there.  Lots of security jobs.  Companion, if you were lucky.  Maybe a little fetching.  Anyway, there was nothing to be had at home, so I decided to give it a try.  I was expecting some hardship, but I certainly hadn't bargained for the border guards.
    The border guards were two large, meaty fellows named Jake and Bubba.  As I approached, they hailed me innocently enough.
    "Hey, dog," said Jake, who seemed to be in charge. "Planning to visit Flatula today?"
    "Yes, sir," I replied.
    "What's your name, dog?" he asked.
    "Rover, sir."
    With that, Bubba seized me by the scruff of the neck and plunged me into a large tank of cold water.  I came up spluttering and coughing.
    "What are you trying to do, kill me?" I yelped.
    "Get the wings," said Jake laconically.  He held me down while Bubba picked up a pair of wicked-looking shears.
    "Wait!  Wait!" I protested. "What  are you talking about?  I don't have any wings!"
    Bubba proceeded to chop away at my shoulders until they were completely cleared of hair.
    "Teeth," said Jake.
    Bubba returned with a large file and proceeded to whale away at my teeth."
    "Owoooo!" I yowled. "Don't I even get Novocain?"
    "Claws," said Jake.
    Bubba. produced a large pair of scissors and hacked off my nails.
    "All done," said Jake. "You can go now."
    Bald, bloody, sore-jawed, and lame, I staggered to what I considered a safe distance.  But, much as my instincts screamed at me to hightail it out of there, I couldn't.
    "Um, just one thing," I ventured, backing up. "What was the reason for that unprovoked attack?"
    "What?" grunted Jake. "Oh, the Safety Prep."
    I waited for him to continue, but he seemed to have lost his train of thought.
    "The Safety Prep, remember?" I reminded him.
    "What?  Oh, that," said Jake. "One day, a dragon came through here."
    "Oh, yes.  Terrible," offered Bubba, breaking his silence. "It just roared through Flatula like a tornado, burning up everything in its path with its fiery breath, slaughtering and devouring both animals and people."
    "What does that have to do with me?" I asked.
    "Gotta protect ourselves," said Jake.
    "I beg your pardon?" I said.
    "We established procedures to keep that from happening again," said Bubba. "Whenever anyone wants to enter the country, they have to do the Safety Prep."
    "I don't understand," I barked.
    "The dousing is to extinguish the fire," said Bubba. "That's the most urgent matter."  Jake grunted in agreement.
    "Wa-a-ait a minute," I protested. "I'm not a dragon!  I don't breathe fire!"
    "Wings are next," said Bubba. "Can't let them fly away on you."
    "I don't have any wings!" I yelped.
    "Then come the teeth," continued Bubba.
    "I'm just a dog!" I screamed. "I can't do anything a dragon can, and wouldn't want to!"
    "Claws are last," said Bubba. "It's all very logical."
    "I'm not dangerous!" I objected.
    "Not now," said Jake.
    By then, I'd had enough of those lunatics, and I began to hobble on my way.  But there was one other thing puzzling me, and there was no one else in sight to ask.  There were no flowers anywhere.
    "Uh, the flowers," I began, turning toward the border guards. "Is that because of the dragon?"
    But they had already begun on the next visitor.  Bubba was pulling a bedraggled, sopping wet butterfly out of the tank.
    "Get the wings," said Jake.