Birthers

"Don't you understand? He has brought hope to thousands! Hope and an agenda for change." Jacob was a sucker for every slick-talking snake oil salesman that came down the pike.

"As for that 'change' stuff, I'd say that was, to put it kindly, a bit ... iffy right now, eh?" You try to be gentle with the poor nitwit, you know?

"Well, of course, it is!" he snaps. "But that's just the point, isn't it? It's because he's taking on all the rich people who are exploiting us! They're fighting like hell to preserve their wealth and privileges. And they cheat and lie to do it!"

"I hate to bring this up," I said, "but have you considered the birth issue?"

"Oh, God!" gasps Jacob. "Please don't tell me you've become a birther."

"Now, as to whether or not I'm a 'birther,'" I reply with a minimum of sarcasm, "I can't really say. But you must admit that the birth story is bizarre. And there's no documentation. You know that."

"Well, of course, there isn't!" he shouts. No self-control, these people. "It was a long time ago, and no birth records from Bethlehem would survive, even if they kept any. But all that birth stuff is beside the point!"

"I beg to differ," I reply reasonably. "You expect people to follow this person, and you can't even prove that he ever existed! Nobody is going to fall for that. On the other hand, if you could simply produce one simple official birth certificate, everyone would have to believe you."