Bientot, le Deluge

Bientot. le Deluge

Aaaand now for today's news. At the top of the news, more war and economic collapse. But enough of that. We have a juicy sex scandal involving rich actors. Shame on them. These things get way too much attention, don't you think, Katie?

Katie: Absolutely, Biff.

We'll have details, explicit footage, and interviews coming up later. What have we got in sports, Guy?

Guy: Bladderball star Jacob the Terminator has signed a record 7-year, 20-million-shekel free-agent contract with the Ankara Assassins. Back to you, Biff.

How about this rain, Katie? When can we expect a break?

Katie: Severe flooding has been reported all over lower Southwest Asia, but not here, so who cares?

But is there any relief in sight? You know, that guy who has been warning about this kind of thing? The one building the big boat.

Katie: Right, Biff. We have commentary from our Guy Who Knows Everything About Everything. Rush?

Rush: It's all Noah's fault! He did this!

Um, how do you figure, Rush?

Rush: He's the one who kept telling us there would be a gigantic storm and worldwide flood, and that's a bunch of liberal crap, as you know, if you've been following my broadcasts. So, obviously, he did it.

But it isn't really going to rain for 40 days and 40 nights, is it, Rush?

Rush: Of course not! Rain is natural. The planet will handle it. You'll see.