Barnyard Priorities

When the animals gathered to discuss their needs for the next biennium, they discovered that their huge food surplus had completely disappeared. Not only that, but their water, what there was of it, had all been polluted by some sort of feces, and something had trampled the chicken coops, leaving lots of damage, but little shelter.

"Good grief!" clucked the Chicken. "What mayhem! Let's ask the Pig about this. He's supposed to be looking after things, isn't he?"

"Yes, indeed," said the Horse. "Pig, what happened to all our food ... and stuff?"

"Don't look at me," burped the Pig, who seemed to have put on a few pounds.

"It's just that we put you in charge," said the Chicken. "We thought you might be, you know, in charge."

"Everything looks fine to me," said the Pig, picking some coop-like substance out of a front trotter. "No food deficit or water problem or nothin'."

"Can someone remind me why we put the Pig in charge?" asked the Chicken.

"Pigs are most fit to rule," said the Pig. "We're intelligent, prudent, noble, thrifty, brave, and ... all that."

"That's right," agreed the Duck. "That was the reason."

"And how did we come to that conclusion?" asked the Chicken.

"Why, ... the Pig told us," replied the Horse. "Often and loudly, if I remember."

The Pig snorted humbly.

The Chicken scratched her head after scratching the ground. "But how did all that food disappear so fast?" she clucked. "And why does the Pig appear to be the only one who hasn't lost any weight? And why does the crud in the water look like Pig shit? Is anyone following me here?"

"Look," said the Cow, "we have a lot of problems that need addressing. Let's start working on them. How about a quick poll on priorities? Everyone state their ... oh, top three priorities. Mine are food, water, and shelter."

"Predator protection, water, and food," said the Chicken.

"Water, food, and shelter," said the Duck.

"Pasturage, water, and good barns," said the Horse.

"Stopping elephants from trampling us, more barnyard for pigs, and bringing in a chicken meat processing plant," said the Pig.

That's politics. So many different opinions.