Another Fox and Chicken Story

Once upon a time there were two chicken farmers, Farmer Jack and Farmer Jim. The two farmers were neighbors and they often consulted each other about matters concerning chicken farming. One common problem they had was protecting their chickens from predators.

"How do you protect your chickens?" Farmer Jack asked Farmer Jim one day.

"Well, I find that a good, well-maintained fence pretty much does the job," replied Farmer Jim. "And I keep a shotgun around for emergencies."

"I'm not quite comfortable with that," said Farmer Jack. "I would feel better if I had a guard, as well."

"Sure," shrugged Farmer Jim. "A good guard dog is not a bad idea."

They left it at that, but a few days later, Farmer Jack came to visit Farmer Jim, and in his arms he carried a reddish canine with a big, fluffy tail.

"I came to show you my new guard dog," said Farmer Jack.

"Whoa!" cried Farmer Jim, clambering to his feet and reaching for his shotgun. "That's a fox!"

"Now, hold on a minute there!" protested Farmer Jack. "This is Petey, and he's going to guard my chickens."

"If you say so," said Farmer Jim skeptically, but he backed off the shotgun. "I can tell you that you're making a big mistake, but it's yours to make, if you want to. Just keep that thing on your property. If I see it nosing around here, I'll blow its head off."

Farmer Jack was a bit offended, and he stalked back home with his new prize guard dog. Scarcely a week later, however, he was back.

"Do you know what Petey did?" fumed Farmer Jack.

"He ate your chickens," replied Farmer Jim.

"He ate my chickens!" cried the outraged Farmer Jack.

"Right," said Farmer Jim. "So what do you want me to do about it?"

"I have demanded that Petey give me a full apology for his actions!" stormed Farmer Jack indignantly. "And I want you to back me up!"

"I'm not going to do that," said Farmer Jim.

"Why not?" screamed Farmer Jack. "Petey owes me an apology! His behavior was outrageous!"

"In the first place," replied Farmer Jim, "any coerced apology is meaningless. But in this case, it's not only meaningless, but absurd. Petey is a fox. Foxes eat chickens. It's what they are. If you don't want your chickens eaten, don't put them in the care of a fox."

Pete Sessions, Chair of the National Republican Campaign Committee, has reportedly lauded the Taliban as a model for a Republican "insurgency" in the US House. Emails have been loosed asking people to demand an apology. Why should he apologize? If he did, he wouldn't mean it. He's a Repug. It's who he is. If you don't like vicious bastards in office, don't elect them.