Thoughts and Prayers

Why did I do it? That's what everyone wants to know, and I'm not sure. But like the old song says, "I know I had it coming, I know I can't be free." Not after what I have done.

So my lawyer came by to discuss my case. Court-appointed, of course. Don's his name. Nice enough guy.

"What do you think?" I asked without hope.

He shrugged his shoulders, shook his head. "It doesn't look good for you," he replied. "I've got to be honest. Insanity is about all I can suggest. Temporary or otherwise. To be frank, I don't think that's far off the mark."

He raised his eyebrows.

"I suppose bail is out of the question," I quipped, attempting to inject a little humor into the discussion.

"Why ..." here came the inevitable question ... "Why did you do it? That's what I don't get. Why would any rational human being do what you did? Maybe, if you gave me something remotely sympathetic that I could pitch to a jury. And you, a teacher, of all things ... What possessed you?"

"It's just ... just that ...," I stammered, putting my head in my hands, "at the time, it seemed like the right thing to do!"

"The right thing to do." Now he put his head in his hands, too, and shook it slowly.

"I know," I sobbed. "I know."

"Do you have any idea what they're going to throw at you?" Don asked. "Federal civil rights charges, of course. Assault charges for your victims, of course. Then there will be lawsuits from your victims' families. Have you thought about that?"

I sighed unhappily. "I have apologized, of course," I blubbered.

The faces of my victims rose before me, as I had seen them on that day ... the shock in the first kid's blue eyes as I tackled him, driving him into the second kid, bearing both of them to the ground. The squeal of the first as I wrested the AR-15 from his hands, the grunt of the second as I brought the stock down on his head and kicked away his assault weapon.

"Apologies are cheap," said my lawyer.

"It was mainly contusions," I said defensively. "And one concussion."

"And extensive mental anguish," Don reminded me. "Not to mention massive violations of Constitutional law. Who can forget the ringing words of US Supreme Court Chief Justice Force Hale's majority opinion in Thoughts and Prayers United:

'A firearm is a legal person, and gunfire is its Constitutionally-protected free speech.'

"Words to live - and die - by!"

And my lawyer shed a manly tear.

And I sighed the sigh of the guilty.

How could I?