The Fellowship of the Thing

The thing is, the Thing fell into the hands of Grodo. And thus it became his reponsibility to deal with. But thing is, ... or Thing is, ... Well, the Thing is a very tricky thing to deal with. Because of Saurump. And Gollins, of course.

"The creature Gollins long held the Thing," explained the wizard Randolph, "taking it deep within the senate. And it gave her unnaturally extended tenure. Even now, she yearns to repossess it."

"'Smine!" muttered Grodo. "The people gave it to me!"

"But you must understand," continued Randolph, "that it is a Thing of Saurump. If he gets his paws on it again, he will use it to maintain a majority for a hundred years! At least! The Council created the Fellowship of the Thing to help you dispose of it! And you have only until 5 p.m. on Monday to dump it back into the fires of Mount Kaboom, whence it was created!"

"Don't wanna," grumbled Grodo.

"I understand how difficult a thing this is," said Randolph kindly. "Or how difficult a Thing this is. But you cannot wield it! It has a mind of its own. It wants to get back to Saurump! It wants to make gaudy chachkies and kick people off healthcare and build monuments to itself and get into pointless, unwinnable wars! Among other things. None of them good."

"I s'pose," mumbled Grodo. "I'll submit the paperwork at Mount Kaboom on Monday at one minute to 5. But not a second earlier."

"We-e-e-l-l-ll, ok," murmured Randolph. "But that leaves you precious little room for error..."