copyright © 2018
by Robert L. Blau
The symptoms of the Plague are well known by now:
immediate and complete cessation of higher brain functions,
uncontrollable flapping of the gums, acute spasming of the fingers,
sometimes accompanied by a redness about the face and neck. But
to be more detailed ...
1. Cessation of higher brain functions. The brain of a
Plague victim becomes impervious to logic. Original thought
ceases and is replaced by sound bytes, talking points, and dogma
emanating from political loci, such as news media, web sites, state
houses, and white houses.
2. Uncontrollable gum-flapping. This takes the form of
interminable bloviations consisting of xenophopia, racism, sexism,
homophobia, and good old fashioned meanness. Content is uncannily
false, consisting not of lies, but of what medical experts are calling
"antitruth." The distinction is that a lie is an isolated
falsehood that may be surrounded by true pronouncements.
Antitruth is a torrent of falsehood and is the exact opposite of
truth. It contains not an iota of accuracy. It is so false
that one can simply (and reliably) ascertain the facts by assuming the
contrary of the antitruth.
3. The spasming of the fingers. This is the digital
equivalent of the uncontrollable gum-flapping. It carries the
bloviation into cyberspace by means of Twitter, Facebook, and other
diabolical applications. This merging of the biological with the
cybernetic makes this plague the first truly modern scourge.
4. Projection. Plague victims blame all their vices on
other people. If, for example, a Plague victim were to kidnap
other people's children, he would say, "It's the Democrats' fault."
5. Delusions. Plague victims suffer from grand delusions.
They think that they are the most popular, most beloved, most
wonderful people in the world. On the other hand, they think
everyone is out to get them.
6. Violence and bullying. The Plague victim believes that
violence is the first option of the competent, rather than the last
refuge of the incompetent, and that bullying is the Platonic ideal for
human relations.
Origins of the Plague. These are a bit more cloudy. The
proximate sources of infection are the news media, web sites, state
housed, and white houses referenced above. However, a receptive
brain is required for infection to take root. To be receptive, a
brain must have a deep abscess filled with the pus of ignorance.
The incidence of this in the population is thought to be
approximately 46%.
Just think about that.