No Heat Breaks in Hell

"So, Mr. Satan, what do you have to say about the recent legislation banning heat breaks in hell?"

"Yes, sir! Passed by the Council of Demons, delivered to my desk, signed into law toot sweet! Yes, sir! Fine piece of legislation!"

"Well, sir, it's just that, well, this is hell. We in the media had no idea there was any such thing as a heat break in hell."

"Hmm, yes, sir. That is a very interesting point, sir. This, as you say, is hell. But you know what? We discovered that some of the local demons were actually allowing heat breaks, even requiring heat breaks!"

"Really? And how did you discover this, Mr. Satan?"

"That, again, is an interesting subject. We have Texas to thank, sir!"

"Texas!?!"

"Yes, sir! We in hell maintain close ties with Texas. Our Council of Demons is almost identical with theirs. As is our philosophy of treating human souls. Come to find out, certain localities in Texas were requiring water breaks for construction workers. So their COD ... that's Council of Demons ... whipped out a COD piece ... or law if you prefer, doing away with all that."

"But what did that have to do with hell, Mr. Satan?"

"Everything. Over the years, we have discovered, 'As in Texas, so in hell.' It has been a very reliable principle. We owe a great debt to Texas and Governuehrer Assoll. Oh, but I almost forgot to tell you the most genius part of the Texas COD piece!"

"And what would that be, Mr. Satan?"

"They waited until temperatures started hitting 105 before implementing it! We would like to do something similar, but, well, this is hell already, isn't it?"