Hypocrites, the Greek philosopher, was a contemporary of Hippocrates, the Father of Medicine, whose name does not mean "a bunch of boxes loaded with large semi-aquatic mammals." Hypocrites and Hippocrates are both famous for their oaths.
The Hippocratic Oath is all about ethical patient care, such as acting
in the patient's best interests and doing no harm. The Hypocritic Oath
begins: "#@&$ *)%!" and continues as follows: "Truth is what I say it is. I am Good. They are Bad. You are either with me or against me."
So Hypocrites and Hippocrates were taking a stroll through Athens and discoursing on the events of the day.
"What do you think about the unrest in Sparta, Crit?" asked Crat. (Their mode of discourse was known as "crit-crat.")
"The mistreatment of the helots is appalling, tyrannical behavior,"
replied Crit. "Sparta is Bad. I stand, of course, with the helots. Our
new Tyrant is threatening to attack if the killings don't stop. I agree
with him."
"Hmm," mused Crat, "about the Tyrant ... Didn't we used to have 'archons?' How did we wind up with a tyrant? I thought this was supposed to be a democracy?*"
"Oh, he's not really a tyrant," pooh-poohed Crit. "That's just a manner of speaking."
"The disregard of the Assembly and the unsanctioned military adventures are a 'manner of speaking?'"
"He's the Peace Tyrant, you know," replied Crit. "Said so himself. Oh, look!"
A group of masked men were beating an unarmed women.
"Brigands! Thugs!" cried Crat. "We must help that poor woman!"
"Oh, no, no, no!"replied Crit, placing a restraining hand on his
friend's arm. "Those are Greek Oversight Operation Network agents!
They're just doing their jobs."
"GOON? They're called GOON?" gasped Crat.
"Oh, yes," said Crit. "Apparently, the popular term is 'GOONs.' Can't see why. They ... clean up, um, terrorists who protest against the Tyrant."
"How do you know they're terrorists?" asked Crat.
Crit gave him a quizzical look. "They protest against the Tyrant. Didn't I just tell you that?"
"I'm a doctor, I must render assistance!" Crat shouted.
"I don't care!" snarled one of the GOONs.
"But she'll die!" protested Crat.
"No worries. We got a clean-up crew comin' along soon," said the GOON. "Effin' bitch!"
*Except for women, slaves, and foreigners, among others.