House of Slugs

On our trip to Washington, DC, I was determined to show my son all the historic sites. First stop, I decided, would be the People's House.

"Jonny," I intoned impressively, "this is the House of Representatives! It is the so-called 'lower' house of our bicameral legislature, where all the laws are made!"

"Eeeuuuwww. Dad! What are all those yucky things?"

"What things?" I asked. "Oh!"

The chamber was crawling with slugs.

"Those are slugs.You know, sort of snails without shells," I explained. "I guess the janitor hasn't been in lately."

"Can I just squish 'em?" asked my son with some enthusiasm.

"Well, I don't see why not ...," I began.

"Oh, no! Don't do that!"

The hearty bellow came from the rear of the chamber. I turned to see who it was.

"Why, it's President Satan!" I exclaimed. "What luck to meet you here, sir! Er, what's with the slugs?"

"Those are the people's representatives!" explained the President.

"Er, slugs?"

"Absolutely!" said the President. "It's a little reform of mine. Only invertebrates allowed as Congressional representatives. That was pretty much how it was when I came in, anyway. I just made it official."

At that moment, a small dog ran into the chamber, yipping its little head off, and leapt into the President's arms.

"Ah, Judie, Judie, Judie!" cried President Satan, rubbing the little mutt's belly, scratching its ears, and tickling its chin. "Who's a good boy den?"

"So, who is this dog?" I asked.

"Oh," replied the President, "this is the Speaker of the House! His name is Judas, but I call him Judie for short."

"But he's a vertebrate," I pointed out.

"Not really," shrugged the President. "And he thinks he's a Christian! Isn't that cute?"

"Well, sir, I think we'll be moving along to the Senate." I gestured for Jonny to come along with me. "Pleasure to meet you, sir."

"The Senate?" said President Satan. "Please don't step on any of the little creepy-crawlies."