Four Horsemen

The Four Horsemen swept into the Oval Office for their meeting with the Antichrist. And their names were Justice, State, Defense, and Health & Human Services.

"What do you think of my handiwork, Lord?" asked HHS. "I know I'm not ordinarily considered one of the really important Horsemen, but ... global pandemic, eh? Pretty neat, huh?"

If he was expecting praise, he was to be disappointed.

"That's China's fault," groused the Antichrist. "And Obama's, of course. Everybody's blaming me!"

"Well, of course, it's not your fault (wink, wink)," said HHS, "but ... pretty neat, huh?"

"Anyway," said Defense, "I think we're pretty much past the worrying-about-blame phase Lord. Wouldn't you say? I've got Afghanistan, Yemen, Iraq, Syria, Libya, and Somalia going for starters. Iran and Venezuela are on the burner ... You've got the Big Button right here, eh? All ya gotta do is say, 'Go!' and launch those super duper missiles!"

"The Fake News keeps going on about that stuff!" griped the Antichrist. "Why don't they blame Obama and crooked Hillary? It's their fault!"

"But we're all set to ride out," added State. "You don't have to worry about the Fake News anymore. But don't forget to quash all those investigations targeting me. Just in case."

"I'm the worst-treated Antichrist in history," complained the Antichrist. "How am I going to get re-elected? This is Obama's fault!"

"Well, of course it is. But re-election needn't be a consideration anymore, Lord," said Justice. "Your time is at hand. Just turn us loose!"

"But why don't they like me?"