copyright © 2025 by Robert L. Blau
KFRU: This is Johnny Jumpup
with KFRU's exclusive first interview with President Franklin D.
Roosevelt following his historic meeting with Chancellor Adolf Hitler
in Texas. President Roosevelt, did you make any progress towards a
ceasefire in Poland?
FDR: Johnny, it was a beautiful meeting! Addy and I are just so sympatico!
KFRU: Um, ... Addy?
FDR: Ha, ha! The Chancellor, of course. We're on a first-name basis.
KFRU: So, ... the ceasefire?
FDR: Oh, there's no need for a ceasefire. Addy explained it to me. We
just go straight to the peace deal while the blitzkrieg rages. Then, in
a couple of days, everything sorts itself out. I should get a Nobel
Peace Prize for this. Addy said so.
KFRU: Er, don't you think ...
FDR: You know what else? Addy said I should run for President again!
Nothing in the Constitution to prevent it, you know. That "two terms"
crap is just a norm.
KFRU: Sir, you know that guy is an authoritarian thug?
FDR: That's left-wing BS, Johnny. But who better to advise me on how to stay in power for life?
KFRU: But ...
FDR: Know what else? Addy said the Republican Party is a very illegitimate party. And you know why? Because they're antisemitic! And who knows better than he about things like that, huh? So I'm going to ban them from running in the next election. And Addy told me how to handle them, too. You set up these camp thingies ...