Defending the Constitution

The Anuses had attained a commanding majority in the Body Politic. Their chief opposition, the Brains, trailed by a 2 to 1 margin. The reason for this is believed to be that everyone has an anus.

So when the Constitutional Crisis came to pass, the Anuses were in the perfect position to deal with it. And so they did ...

The Constitution was under attack by a virulent Virus that had reached pandemic proportions. The Brains were in hysterical chaos.

"We must do something!" whined the Brains. "Let's adopt measures to strengthen the Immune System!"

But the Anuses did not panic. "Don't forget your Constitutional Rights!" they cautioned. "Viruses have a Right to the Constitution! We don't like it any more than you do, but there's nothing we can do about. Thoughts and prayers are the thing. Thoughts and prayers. (Dignified sniff, sniff.)"

"Wait a minute! Doesn't that Virus lubricate you guys with tons of shit?"

"Nonsense!" bridled the Anuses. "Anyway, that has nothing to do with our position. It's all about Constitutionalities. And don't even think about vaccines!"

So after a few scads more Virus deaths, some of the Brains held a defiant protest on the premises of the Body Politic, demanding action to strengthen the Immune System. Then the Anuses decided to take action. They decided to expel the protesting Brains from the Body Politic.

Now, there were three Brains involved in the protest, all of them more or less repugnant to the ruling Anuses. The worst were two young Brains of a ... rather unpleasant hue. The third was old and female! All of them had to go!

But a funny thing happened on the way to the klavern meeting. The two wrongly colored brains were duly expelled ... but the Anuses came up one vote short on the she-Brain. A hurried and harried meeting of Anuses took place after the vote.

"Why didn't you vote to expel?" they harangued the apostate Anus.

"Well, ..., " he replied, "her color wasn't bad ... and she had a lawyer!"

"But don't you know what you've done?" protested the other Anuses. "You made us look like a bunch of assholes out there!"