Declaration of Independence Overturned

The Supreme Court of the United States ruled today that the so-called "Declaration of Independence," considered by some to be a founding document of the United States of America, is wrongly interpreted. The vote was 6-3, with the three dissenters taken into custody at the end of the session.

The majority opinion, penned by Chief Justice Force Hale, takes issue with the interpretation of the proposition that "all men are created equal." The opinion reads, in part, "The Founding Fathers never intended for 'all men are created equal' to be read as 'all men are created equal.' Clearly, 'men' means 'White Christian men,' 'all' means 'most, subject to review,' and 'equal' means 'rank to be determined by appropriate authority.' Furthermore, the phrase is subject to sloppy interpretation, such as the word 'men' including non-males, which is just silly."

Whether this decision invalidates the Declaration of Independence is currently a matter of contention between the United States and the United Kingdom, with the two nations on the verge of armed conflict. The United States claims that the document is invalid, while the UK contends that it is not.