Autoterrorism

There was another drone strike on I-35 this morning. TV screens throughout the land lit up with the explosion, and the DMV crowed about the righteous war on autoterrorism.

"More than 40,000 Americans a year die due to autoterrorism, and this administration intends to put a stop to it!" announced the Secretary of the DMV. The Secretary further announded that "DMV" now stands for "Department of Murder Vehicles," and his title henceforward is to be "Czar of All the Rush Hours."

Asked how autoterrorists were identified, the Czar replied, "Number 1, they're driving a car, and Number 2, they have a distinctive, not-white skin color. Before you ask, the Supreme Court says that's cool."

The DMV Czar has declared a moratorium on new driver's licenses and an urgent investigation into existing driver's licenses to identify and root out autoterrorists and DEI licensees. It is anticipated that only white, male, native-born, non-Democrat Christians will be licensed to drive by the next mid-term election.

In other news, the President has dissolved Congress by executive order. Former Congressional leaders could not be located for comment, as both houses had already been sent home in an act of voluntary legislative seppuku.